Scripts

A Cthall From Cthulhu

Cthulhu has come to collect his date for an evening out on the town, but what with it being Halloween, there seems to be some mixed signals going on.

Kamappa

Will Ditaolane return to save the world once more, or has even he given up on the world?

A Small Price To Pay

Why won’t any of the Americans take up the dying prince on his generous offer?

Punishable By Death

Sometimes death is better than what Death can dream up for you

The Doctor In You

DIY should never be like this. And yet…

Billions Served

When you are summoning Polynesian gods and goddesses, you really want to make certain you get their name right

The Refund

Yes, this actually happened (more or less – adaptations were made for staging and humor)

Sabertooth Tendencies

Be true unto yourself, and let the chipmunks beware!

My Darling Tortue

True love only lasts as long as it takes to discover that your darling tortue is really just an old army helmet

Running From Heaven

Some people never stop looking for a way to circumvent death. Others do nothing but wait impatiently for death to find them.

Building Walls

It is unfortunate that some people can only learn acceptance when they have run out of time to accept others.

Crossing to the Other Side

When being a sloth is just the beginning of your sins.

Plumbarius Ex Machina

The spirits are everywhere, especially in outdoor theater

Forwarding Instructions

It is tough to recognize that there really is never a way to go back

Sudden Death

Cheese has finished interviewing for the job of Death, but now it turns out that there’s a competitor for the position

For The Birds… Or Whatever

Miscommunication at its best. Now if we could all just decide on what we’re protesting…

Within The Rain

When looking at the places between and within the rain, Samantha has found something spectacular.

Stepping Out

Things aren’t always what they seem. Or even when they seem.

Are You My Murther?

When the ghost of Hamlet’s father accidently arrives in Messina and runs into Dogberry, the very befuddled constable from Much Ado About Nothing, the conversation is anything but sensible.

Getting The Point

The unsung heroes of Robin Hood’s Merry Men need a little recognition too.

Reflections

We know so little, and even that is mostly wrong

Intermission

Intermission is the new production

The Title Role

Hell hath no fury like that which will rain down upon directors who are too full of themselves.

Strangers In The Night

Strangers in the night are not always what they seem, although they might become so if things get weird enough

The Last Oreo

Some things are best shared with someone you love

The Hoodie

In the spirit of the most awkward and poorly considered plans for romance, this ranks right up there.

One Bad Egg

Some echo chambers are egg-shaped…

The Summoning

Be sure whom you’ve summoned before you start making sacrifices

2021, A Sea Odyssey

It’s about to be a bad day under the sea…

Within the At-Most-Sphere

There are still some minimal IQ standards for robbing a bank.

Cuddles On Clementines Day

Gabby the Cuttlefish mishears the keepers talking about her, and now, despite her solitary nature, is convinced she is a cuddle fish.

Here Flamingoes Nothing

Sometimes the weirdest gifts are the most effective.

Thank You For Your Patronage

How did Valentine’s Day get assigned to Saint Valentine?

Always Late

Alice learns that the Rabbit is a minx

Dark and Mysterious

It’s a good idea to have your post held when you go away for weeks. Who knows how frustrated the delivery person may get.

Beyond The Moment

Addiction is hard, and not just on the addicted

Cauldron Call

Three witches, two exes, and one very unusual Valentine’s Day

The Final Flight

We all grieve in our own way

A Dangerous Pastime

Nothing rhymes with “dangerous”… or does it?

Tanks For All The Frish

We all know a Frish. What can you do?

When the Lights Come On

Love is kindled under the erstwhile lights of the Rockefeller Plaza Christmas Tree

A Snowball’s Chance

Memory is a strange thing, and often not as accurate as we expect – for a wide variety of reasons.

Counter Intelligence

Sam is simultaneously a genius and completely clueless, and yet still manages to become a high-level political appointee.

First Week On The Bench

Flink is so excited to be making toys, but it might be better if he stuck to the accepted designs.

A Gift Under Wraps

Some of the best gifts are really hard to wrap

Out of the Darkness

It’s long past time that we take non-traditional sexuality out of the darkness.

The Letter

Sometimes there is no right answer. Actually, most of the time there is no right answer.

Von Maur Noir

Never fall for a dame with a snake…

All Of These Things Are Not Like The Others

Some thing just don’t go well together. Trust me.

Growing Young Together

Sarah and Alex are on a blind date, and despite the obvious disapproval from the waiter at this fancy French restaurant, these two out-of-the-box thinkers were clearly made for each other.

New-Fangled Gizmos

Do you remember when monks were the ones providing tech support? Well, me either. We weren’t alive then.

What Lurks Beneath

Even the people who pride themselves as being open-minded can’t always see their own unconscious biases. That’s what makes racism so difficult to address.

A Touch of Green

Halloween is a magical time. Perhaps it’s magical enough to allow the decency of a frog to find its way to the highest position of authority in the U.S.

Big Louie Is Coming To Town

Big Louie doesn’t discriminate – he gives gifts to all the boys and girls whether they’ve been good or not.

How History Judges

Anthropology is tough enough when humans are trying it, but when the AI agents of the future give it a shot, the results are cat-astrophic.

High Expectations

Sometimes what you think is marijuana turns out to be… well, something else.

Providing a Little Hu-Manatee

Be careful what you ask for, especially when it has to be provided through a committee

Audition Hell

Sometimes getting cast in a play is exactly what you don’t want to have happen

Old World Scary

Sometimes you can find the epitome of cruelty in the most unexpected of places

It’s Just Us Now

With her parents gone, she can finally be honest… but will it help her get through the pain?

Are You My Mummy

Have you ever wanted to have a Jewish mummy? Well, then you need some serious introspection.

Boxed In

Three digital heads are joining up for their weekly Zoom meeting, but everything gets sidetracked when WWXV discovers that XN4 is in a philosophical (i.e. gullible) mood.

Houses And Humans

Ants roleplaying. Do you need more information?

Coming To Light

The pain of child abuse knows no boundaries.

Getting Into The Spirit

When you demand that someone return the Christmas cheer you gave them, be sure you get every last bit of it.

Too Late

If something is important, maybe you should overcome a little discomfort in order to make it happen… before it’s too late.

Immortal Diffusion

Immortality at the cost of meaning and value… is it really worth it?

Schism

Sometimes letting go of the past is simply too hard, even when there is no longer a past to hold on to.

The Emperor’s New Art

Art is art, right? So carve the sculpture just like you normally would, but just make it tasty music.

Cancellations

For some live broadcasts you definitely want to lock the door before you start.

Reindeer Trouble

Even reindeer break down, but did it have to happen on Christmas Eve?

Set For a New Start

The pandemic is hard on everyone, even the ancient gods.

That’s Why They Call It Sacrifice

If it is really important to you, there’s always a way to use the negative to reinforce the positive.

Season Tickets

When you’re a baseball fan, the game is all that matters – even when the game’s been cancelled on account of global crisis.

Nothing Could Keep Me Away

A divorced man does whatever it takes to ensure a happy three-and-a-half-year birthday for his daughter.

Anything for a Decapodiformes

When you meet a devout follower of the Church of the Luminous Squid, it’s best to remain politely distant.

Facets

There’s nothing like a mirror to show why you might not be as innocent as you think

Two Little Lessons

Chris and Alex have decided to take a little downtime and just relax under the stars. Before long the conversation turns to matters of honesty, giving Alex the chance to share stuff that has remained locked away for too long.

Where No Bug Has Gone Before

Toxoplasmosis – sometimes it really sucks to be a rat

Are We Done Yet?

What do burgers talk about with each other when they’re being cooked? Could be quantum physics, could be the apocalypse…

The Pyramid Prank

Be careful messing with the pharaoh’s stuff, as that’s a good way to get dissected. Besides, you never know what is going to become tomorrow’s architectural trend.

The Malteser Bunny

It’s the stuff creams are made of…

Someone Else’s Dooby Dooby

Better to go nowhere being true to yourself than pretend you can be something else. Unless you are just trying to suck, in which case you should be all means write that kind of stuff.

What Comes Around

Goldilocks and Jack the Giant Killer finally get what’s coming to them after their lives of crime

Words Are Useless

Never argue with a raccoon after it’s started licking your pastries

Cleaving

Siblings who haven’t spoken in years are presented with an opportunity to come back together.

Next Minute Delivery

If you can’t control your thoughts, Amazon’s automated Next Minute Delivery service might not be for you.

Et Tu, Brew Tea

Sometimes all you need to calm down is a nice cup of tea. Other times, it’s more like a hostage situation.

Poker Night

The Easter Bunny, a leprechaun, Elijah the Prophet, and the Angel of Death don’t walk into a bar… the beginning of a strange warning about not ignoring plagues.

Breaking and Exiting

Two pandas, one cage, and a deceptively simple – yet surprisingly ineffective – plan for escape..

Feeling Alone

Glenn has seen something out the window of the International Space Station that puts a new context on social isolation.

A Good Day To Dye

Will Juanito Acciones fail his first mission assignment, or can he swallow his pride and dye a couch?

And I Feel Fine

It’s the end of the world… well, at least the Disinfectites and Purellionaires seem to think so.

Moving On

Once again facing his memories, a stranger opens the door to Steve moving on from his past mistake

The Exchange

A unicorn for a cell phone… seems a fair trade, even if there isn’t a unicorn or a cell phone available.

The Bus Stop

Sometimes you get the best perspective on the true value of living when you take your “glasses” off

It Wasn’t You

Encountering your ex is tough enough, but when they’ve made some major changes…

Silent Surrender

If women won’t stand up and vote/fight to elect people who will protect their rights, terrible consequences are likely to follow.

Zeroeth Contact

Maybe the aliens really are out there, and just don’t want to have anything to do with us.

Syntax Error

This is what a first date just might look like between two geeky computer programmers. Just a theory…

The Condor Egg

Just because Evan says you can’t hatch a condor from a store-bought chicken egg, that doesn’t mean Josey isn’t going to make it happen anyway.

Being Antithetical

Sandy is a truly amazing ant, a truth that the other ants simply c’ant appreciate.

Qalupalik

One can never be certain what the truth is, at least until the die is cast. And perhaps not even then.

Cassie’s Curse

So you think that knowing the future would be great? Think again…

Finding New Roses

Ronald and Madeline are waiting to audition when in walks Frankie, wearing a dress and ready to push people past their comfort zone.

Seeing The Light

Roland and Alena think they see a UFO, and it leads to trying to determine whether they are truly in love.

Nude and Exciting

Be careful entering the dating scene of the twenty-teens, especially if you don’t know what NSA stands for.

Yggdrasil

Even Odin had a Mother, and he didn’t like listening to her either.

Shadows

Oliver Fox is a poet, at least so he tells people. The question is, who is going to be versed to die?

Crazy Is The New Normal

Sometimes people get confused over the distinction of accepting the unusual vs. shunning the lack thereof. This makes for one very interesting support group.

Over The Hedge

What would the world be like if people weren’t expected to give up their imagination when they get older?

Love’s Disenlightenment

It’s a love story. Between a stick and a lamp. Who needs actors?

Interfearon

Not all podcasters qualify as PODD-casters, but the important ones make the effort.

Hellbent

When Lena, Devlin, and Lacey get summoned to Hell by accident, it doesn’t go so well for Devlin. But that’s okay – it doesn’t go so well for Hell either.

The P-Team

If you are going to send a series of plagues against the Pharaoh, you really want several imaginative ideas in your back pocket.

Blind Justice

Being emotionless is not the same as being infallible. Will we learn that before it’s too late?

A Change In Nature

Can a creature such as he (or she) really turn over a new leaf? What if there isn’t any food under it?

Rock, Paper, and No Scissors

When you stop thinking for yourself, even Rock, Paper, Scissors becomes challenging.

Old Day Dawning

We may be transitioning away from physical books, but are we prepared to deal with the consequences?

This Is Bull

When a woman walks in to apply for a job as a writer, the interviewer is absolutely thrilled to have a someone so qualified for the position. However, when he discovers that she is left-handed, he changes his tune. Everyone knows that left-handed people can’t write, and he says the best he can do is give her a job as a writer’s assistant. Fortunately for her and those who come later, she refuses to accept the absurd, irrational decision.

Leader of the Elves

Be careful what you name your child, for it could come back to bite them. Or rule their destiny. Whichever.

The Unicorn

Sometimes expressing love takes a metaphor. Sometimes it takes a truckload of metaphors.

Finding Tomorrow

Sometimes the strangest things can lower the barrier to connection

One’s Cup of Tea

Sometimes a little frivoli-tea makes the difference between “existence” and “living”.

Le Sacrifice

Some words are the same in French and English. Perhaps that’s where we can start to speak the same language.

One With Nothing

Sometimes sitting on the top of a mountain just deprives you of oxygen

The Rise of Psyche

Let us dispense with our fixation on superficial beauty, technology, and war, and usher in a new era where we focus on love and soul.

Changing Kansas

When his father kills the man he wishes had been his father, Thomas must find a way to cope with his grief – and hopefully transform it into something productive.

Mortal of Grace

A selfless, well-intended gift results in terrible heartache that takes generates to set right.

Two Point Oh

When the artificially-intelligent Alexa 2.0 takes over Hammond’s life, it kind of raises the question of just how much one is willing to trade for a little convenience.

Duine

When the fae fall in love, nothing good comes of it.

Federal Hollywood

When the government merges with Hollywood, so too does reality merge with entertainment. This is not a good thing.

The Diadem of Happiness

What do you do when the secret to happiness is handed to you? Throw it away, of course.

Nexus

The Nexus approaches again, and two champions must come together to determine the fate of two worlds.

A Lively Outfit

Frank Stein is working night and day to realize his dream of bringing clothing to life!

The Knights Disposable

Lancelot and don Quixote have appeared in Steven’s bedroom to induct the unsuspecting young man into a most unusual order of knighthood.

Zero Hour

Thanksgiving is not necessarily a time of thanks for everyone… especially the airborne division.

Signed, Sealed, and Delivered

Just a leisurely jaunt by the auction house to pick up a few things for dinner.

Socratic Frustration

Sometimes even Plato can’t get through to someone

Oscar

Sometimes the simplest things can point the way to new beginnings

Tears of Tranquility

When taken to the extreme, joy and sorrow meet on the other side

A Night at the Human Garden

A very strange night at a strange Chinese takeout restaurant when people try to fulfill their deepest needs by ordering off the menu

Brighter Than Others

Even in prehistoric times there were leaders, and when a bright young mind reports a new discovery, he learns that sometimes the hardest part of progress is dealing with them

The New Death

Edgar did not know what to expect of the life beyond, but being escorted there by Cheese was definitely not on his radar.

The Trial

A woman is accused of witchcraft, and attempts to enlighten the “jury” of elders attempting to condemn her

The Unfortunate Teller

It’s one thing to ask someone to step in as a fortune teller, but to do it using a deck of tarot cards made by your toddler…?

The Present

Jessie is trying to give a simple gift to James, who reacts with inexplicable avoidance.

No Laughing Matter

The FBI is on to Alexei, who has recently left his flailing career as a comic in Russia, and come to America. Alas, he’s not doing anything wrong, which has the Bureau very confused.

Empires

When an assassin fails to kill the emperor, he learns that good and evil are not always so easy to distinguish

The Pirates of Pan’s Pants

Can the audience help Peter Pan get his pants back from thieving pirates? This interactive plays say they can!

The Builders

Robin Hood turns out very differently when the creatures responsible for building each moment in time get a little crazy.

Romeo and Juliet (and Gertrude)

Romeo and Juliet… for kids. They still die, but the moral of the story is made clear by a sloth. Yeah, you heard me. A sloth.

The Devil Exclusive

The Devil has come to Earth with a disturbing message: the game is over… and the Devil has won.

Another Door Opens

Can Paul, Abbey, Kenneth, and Ruby escape the nuclear fallout shelter before ALICE completely loses it?

Cow Wars

The touching story of how Milky-Wan Kenobi rescues poor Jack Farmwalker from the clutches of the evil sith lord, Darth Columbia Mall.

Fairy Tales

The story of Little Red Goldijack and the Three Jedi Pigs